I love my husband. I’ve known him for 20 years and we’ve been married for over 8 years. We have two kids together and a third on the way. Our lives aren’t perfect, but we certainly love what we have built. We’ve been blessed. But can I tell you a secret? My love for him is not why we are together. Sure, loves plays a role. After all, I would never marry a man I didn’t … [Read more...]
15 Signs You are Single-Handedly Sabotaging Your Marriage
Everyone always talks about how hard it is to build and sustain a healthy, happy relationship. And I agree. And no, it’s not all hard work. I have plenty of fun with my husband and I cherish all of those good times. But, I can definitely acknowledge that it’s not always fun and games. Sometimes it’s challenging as hell. But we all make decisions, every day, that can … [Read more...]
Remember, Your Kids are Learning How to Love by Watching You
I have two kids and one on the way. If there is anything they have taught me, it’s how to be more mindful of how I behave and interact with others. Kids are always watching you. Even when you think they aren’t, they are. I believe it’s their way of trying to make us better people. Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t think you should change who you are because your kids are … [Read more...]
Your Kids are Watching. 5 Imperative Habits They Should See from You in Your Marriage
Nothing brings your strengths and flaws to light like becoming a parent. My kids remind me every day that they are watching everything I do. They appreciate the moments when I get things right, and they see the moments when I don’t. Every. Single. Moment. They may not say a thing, but I know they see it all. And although my relationship with my husband isn’t about my kids, … [Read more...]
Control, What Does it Really Represent in Your Relationship?
Is control the dominant force driving your romantic relationships, friendships or business partnerships? If so, fear is alive and well in your relationships. People create defense mechanisms, which manifest themselves as control issues or tactics because they fear losing someone or something they value. Control is not at all about the person being controlled. It is, however, … [Read more...]
7 Major Signs You Are in an Unhealthy Relationship and What You Should Do About It
One of my favorite sayings is, “I can do bad all by myself.” I love that saying because it is so true. I mean, who needs a partner if all that person brings is grief. My heart aches when anyone I know is in a relationship that seems to drain them, while giving very little in return. Relationships should be a give and take experience, leaving both parties happy. I believe the … [Read more...]
Is It Ever Okay To Go Through Your Man’s Things?
If you haven’t been there personally, you probably have a friend who has—going through her man’s phone, wallet, car—wondering if she will stumble upon some incriminating evidence that he’s doing something wrong. Sometimes the evidence is there—clear as day, begging the question, did she really need to go through his things to figure that out? And sometimes, there is nothing … [Read more...]
Why Being A Hypocrite To Your Own Values Can Destroy Your Relationships
A client recently had an interesting conundrum: The client was struggling with believing something she was doing in her relationship was not up to her standards, but she continued the behavior to satisfy someone else. She was struggling with her value system. Many of us struggle with our value system because we haven’t addressed what we hold as our own personal … [Read more...]
3 Ways Self-Love Can Improve Your Love Life
This post is part of Loving in the Grown Zone Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers across the globe. To learn more and to join us as we change the conversation about healthy love, CLICK HERE! I receive a lot of emails each week from people who are sharing their relationship woes: My girlfriend is disrespectful, what … [Read more...]
9 Signs that You are in a Toxic Relationship
You know that feeling you get in your gut when you are deeply involved in a situation that just isn’t sitting well with your soul? It’s an unsettling feeling that tells you something needs to change, yet you find yourself holding on to the situation, ignoring what your gut is communicating loudly and clearly. Typically that gut feeling is rarely wrong. It’s our body’s way of … [Read more...]
Breaking the Cycle: You Can Be the First in Your Family to Have a Successful Marriage
My mom and dad weren’t married. It’s never been a family secret. I love and respect my mom for always being honest about that. When I was really young, I thought they were married. My dad was around so that just made sense. Once I was old enough to start asking questions, my mother gave me honest answers. I know it wasn’t easy for her to share, but she did. One of seven … [Read more...]
Can Your Mind-Set Set You Up or Hold You Back?
We are all connected to each other in some way on some level. However, we identify certain individuals to develop more distinct and defined connections with. Some people find it incredibly difficult to explain why or understand what so strongly attracts and connects them to an individual. The only thing they are able to offer with certainty is that they are inexplicably … [Read more...]
Do You Know What Forgiveness Really Is?
Forgiveness is not justification for inviting, permitting or rewarding continued violations, offenses or abuse. Forgiveness does not absolve you of your responsibility to honor, esteem, respect — and protect — yourself. You can let go of anger, bitterness and resentment, forgive debts and forget losses, and pardon or excuse violations and poor treatment without staying in … [Read more...]
Do You Know What Healthy Love Is?
Too many people, and society as a whole, equate possessiveness with love, subtly and not so subtly advancing the idea that the object of your affection is property to be acquired, captured or conquered, a prize to be won. The idea that someone’s desire for us is so overpowering that he or she would do anything to have us seems powerfully romantic, at least initially, and is … [Read more...]
Letting Go of the Wrong Relationship To Find the Right One
We all know people who stay together despite being miserable, refusing to recognize or accept that a relationship has run its course. Those who stay despite unhealthy conditions and treatment do so for many reasons, including belief systems that are anti-divorce, fear of being alone, a society that frowns on quitting, feeling unworthy of or unable to do better, the romantic … [Read more...]