After 8 years of marriage and more than 20 years of friendship, my husband and I have had our share of ups and downs. We have a good thing going, but neither of us is perfect. We’ve each made mistakes, for sure. And what keeps us together and happy is not just how we manage things when mistakes occur, but It’s also how we treat each other at all times. I always knew that I … [Read more...]
Is Jaden Smith a Pioneer of Black Masculinity or It’s Nail in the Coffin?
If you haven't heard already, Jaden Smith was recently named as the face of a Louis Vuitton collection for women. A lot of people feel a lot of different ways about it. Jaden's never been afraid to push gender and societal norms, famously wearing an all white bat suit to Kim and Kanye's wedding, and a dress to his prom. The Internet predictably went nuts. Some went so far … [Read more...]
A Good Husband’s Cheat Sheet that Will Help to Keep Sanity Under His Roof
First, let me say there's no real cheat sheet to being a good husband. It's something you do, or don't do - consistently. And every good husband falls short. Every good spouse falls short. But with effort, every husband can always do better tomorrow than he did today. Related: A Good Wife's Cheat Sheet For myself, between my career, my business, the next sale, the next … [Read more...]
Why Are Some Men More Caring, Considerate, and Patient with Complete Strangers than with the One They Love
Interesting observation: men have a tendency to be more considerate to a complete (female) stranger than their own mate. I’m not making this up. It’s what several dating and married men admitted to me after completing one of my Relationship Bootcamps. See-what-had-happened-was…I took 40 male and females…whose relationship statues ranged from single, to dating, engage, and … [Read more...]
Singles: 3 Reasons He Cheats, 3 Reasons She Stays
When the question, “Why do men cheat” is asked, there are various answers given. The answers run the gamut from plausible to laughable depending on whom the question is asked and how that person has been socialized, their worldview which shapes how they see the world and their place within it. It is a legitimate question asked by those who have suffered from the (forbidden) … [Read more...]
2 Principles that Separate Boys from Men When Dating Women
"A man is only as faithful as his options." This quote is a gross mischaracterization of men, carelessly stroked with a very broad brush. The ill-famed sentiment it engenders gains much ground in the minds of many ladies whose experiences cause those words to resonate with them, like the clashing sound of cymbals struck with the intensity and rapidity of a seasoned … [Read more...]
11 Major Myths of Manhood from a Male’s Point of View
I read a series of columns lately about the various things that we do as men that bothers women. And it downright pissed me off. It seems male-bashing has become the rule, not the exception. Everything from a man’s emotional dishonesty to his supposed fear of feminist, progressive, and overachieving women, have been brought into question. These columns even went so far as to … [Read more...]
Is It Time for the African American Community to Rethink Manhood?
Six years ago, I had the last conversation I would ever have with a very dear friend. While we were talking in June 2008, I did not for one second imagine that we would never speak again. The Last Call Between June and September 2008, I attempted to call my friend on a number of occasions. We share the same birthday and it had been our ritual for 20 years to never miss … [Read more...]
VIDEO: Award-Winning Producer Encourages Men to Man Up!
Shannon Sanders, award-winning music producer and songwriter, has a a message for men: man up. As the music director for India Arie, Sanders helped create videos for her hits "Brown Skin" and "Video" among others and is ready to debut a video of his own. The song carries the message "It takes a man, to teach a man, to be a man," asking men to "man up" and raise their … [Read more...]
What to Do When You’re Feeling “Less Than”
by Bil Mooney-McCoy Back in the previous century, when my son was a toddler, he would build elaborate constructs from Legos. When finished, he would look up and say to my wife or me, “Look at I made!” And we, being the greatest parents ever, would fawn over his creation as he explained that it obviously was a contrabassoon, or an ankylosaurus or a gondola car. (We went … [Read more...]
Why Your Marriage Needs a Husband With 4 “Faces”
Strong husbands are desperately needed in marriages today. The stronger the husband the better chance a marriage has of surviving and thriving. At the same time, the weaker the husband the more challenging it is to have a great marriage. When I say strong, I am not talking about physical strength. Addressing the challenges in manhood A few years ago I began a study with … [Read more...]
He Said What? A Parent's Perspective on Rapper Too Short's Advice To Young Boys
Disturbing. Disgusting. Inappropriate. Flat out wrong! Those are just some of the remarks flying around after 80's rapper Too Short appeared in a video on XXL.com, instructing what he called late middle school to high school aged boys on how to "finger," manipulate and physically coerce (a.k.a. rape) young girls sexually. Check out more on Too Short's comments The … [Read more...]
When A Man Leads From His Strength
When I played basketball, many, many decades ago, there were certain key strengths that I naturally had. Dribbling"”easy; lockdown defense"”no problem; shooting three pointers"”good all day, but shooting from the right side? Big problem! It was not until I got to a point that I recognized and understood where my strengths were, as well as my weaknesses, that I could work … [Read more...]
What A Man Wants – From His Point Of View
One of my facebook buddies was having a moment. She'd read an article entitled "11 Signs He's Not Headed Toward a Relationship With You" and stated at the end of her post description that she wanted a relationship. After reading the article, it did feel very discouraging. So I decided to do some research for my friend and get a man's perspective of what he wants and … [Read more...]
Men Ain’t Boys – Authentic Manhood
I watched Men Ain't Boys recently, and as I pressed play I wondered how much of what I said when I was taped for the documentary actually made it to the film. I remember being genuinely nervous as I sat down in front of the camera, unsure of what was going to be asked of me and thanks to a few extra pounds I've since lost, not too happy with the way I felt or looked. I … [Read more...]