by Tara Pringle Jefferson An ongoing struggle throughout our short marriage has been the division of labor in our household. I've often felt like I'm shouldering 90% of the day-to-day work, while my husband gets the seasonal tasks of shoveling the driveway and mowing the lawn. We've tried 3,232 ways to make it work but we always seemed to end up in the same place: Me, … [Read more...]
Sinbad’s New Reality Show: Um, What’s The Point?
Who knew Sinbad had so many personal issues? Between his divorce, owing $2.5 million in back taxes, Hollywood offers drying up left and right, he's been through a lot. But in his new reality show, "Sinbad: It's Just Family," on WEtv, he's all smiles and optimistic. "This is my second chance in life," he asserts during the opening. The first episode centers around Sinbad … [Read more...]
I’m A Better Wife When…
Over my four-year marriage, I've noticed that year four was better than year three, that year three (while challenging) brought more insight than year two, and year two was more comfortable than year one. Each year, it seems, has brought us closer together, whether we realized it at the time or not. I feel this growth in our marriage is directly related to our growth as … [Read more...]
Be The Change You Wish To See In Your Relationship
by Tara Pringle Jefferson One of my favorite quotes to pull myself through any struggles or challenges in my marriage isn't even marriage related - it's from Gandhi. "We must be the change we wish to see in the world." What did he mean by that? In this interview, his grandson adds some explanation: "He mentioned this because people kept saying to him that the world has to … [Read more...]
Are You Jealous Of Other Couples? Why Envy Can Be A Good Thing
by Tara Pringle Jefferson Despite my best efforts, at times I've found myself looking around at other couples and feeling that familiar pang of jealousy. Maybe it's their ability to be affectionate 24/7, the way they effortlessly work to make sure the other person has what they need, or it's the fact that they just seem to be so happy all the time. I used to brush off … [Read more...]
“Help” Versus “Doing Your Fair Share”
by Tara Pringle Jefferson In my Family Theories class last semester, our professor made it a point to address the underlying assumptions about gender roles we were harboring. Several of us in the class were married women and we would begin to talk about our husbands and families during the course of the discussion. Frequently we would begin our conversations with … [Read more...]
What’s The Most Overrated Date Experience?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson A marriage education group I follow on Facebook posted the following question: "What the most overrated place to have a date?" Hands down, the majority of people said the classic dinner and movie. "What's the point?" one commenter said. "You can't talk, can't see each other." This question caught my eye because my husband and I just bought … [Read more...]
What If Your Parents Had A Blog While You Were Growing Up?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson My mom told me regularly over the years that she wanted to be an actress. It was her childhood dream. She wanted to be famous, see her name in lights, walk the red carpet at awards show and looked surprised when the envelope was opened and they called her name. Instead, she's a nurse. Working two jobs and has been for the … [Read more...]
Give Your Parenting Some Direction: What Are You Teaching Your Kids?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson I want to be a capable mom. I want my kids to know they can come to me for questions to life's many answers, or when they just feel perplexed. School issues? I'm there. Friendship troubles? Come sit right here next to Mama. *taps couch cushion* I feel like I have so many lessons, so much I want to teach them. Many families come up with … [Read more...]
Is Being Unpredictable A Good Thing In A Marriage?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson My husband and I had a disagreement recently and I was honestly shocked that he hadn't seen my reaction coming. "Dude, why are you acting like we just met?" I asked him, joking. He shrugged. "I never know how you're going to react. You're unpredictable." Screeeech. Unpredictable? What? Not me. There is no way. I make it known what I like … [Read more...]
It’s Not What You Say But…
by Tara Pringle Jefferson Since I'm a writer I put a lot of stock in having "the right words" available. I figure, if I state my case clearly enough then my husband should be able to understand whatever I'm trying to say. But that wasn't always the case. I already knew the stats about how so much of what we say is communicated through body language (up to 80% in some … [Read more...]
Stop (Fighting) in the Name of Love: What I’ve Learned in 1,310 Days of Marriage
I'm a classic Type A personality - ambitious, irritated easily, always in a rush, always looking for something to do, never really take time to relax. And my husband? Let's just say opposites attract. If this dude had his way, he'd stay horizontal for the rest of his life and could someone pass the popcorn? We bring those same personalities to the table when a disagreement … [Read more...]
Dr. Gary Chapman, Author Of The Five Love Languages, Shares His Tips On a Happy Marriage With BMWK
by Tara Pringle Jefferson It's hard to think of anyone who is an undeniable expert on marriage, but Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the The Five Love Languages (and countless others), comes close. He's not only an expert on marriage, but he's an expert on love. Dr. Chapman recently sat down with me to discuss what matters most in a marriage and how you can improve your … [Read more...]
Does It Matter How Your Marriage Starts?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson Last week, I wrote an article (please read it if you haven't already) about how my relationship with my husband progressed from love > baby > marriage. I was sharing my experiences in the hopes that someone else who was in the same position would draw strength from it. Others (particularly on the Happily Ever After fan page) did not see it … [Read more...]
Are You Both Complaining About The Same Thing?
by Tara Pringle Jefferson By nature, I am a soft-spoken woman, but despite this, I am convinced my husband at times suffers from "selective hearing." Selective hearing is when he can hear the kids just fine, he can hear the sports commentators, but my request for his help washing the dishes goes unacknowledged. When this happens, I usually just take a deep breath and ask … [Read more...]