When we meet, date and even marry, we really don’t know everything about the person next to us. We are often oblivious to the challenges they’ve faced, the hardships they’ve overcome and the difficulties they endure on a daily basis.

If we were honest, we frequently ignore the outward signs of their inward pain and shame and move on with our day.

Last night’s episode of #BeingMaryJane, made the audience face the #uglytruth of the pain that people suffer in silence.

On this week’s episode, Mary Jane Paul’s oldest friend Lisa, committed suicide. Lisa was raped by her step-father as a child and as a result, suffered from low self-esteem, depression and a constant need to find herself in an effort to establish her identity and where she belonged.

Mary Jane and her family adopted Lisa as one of their own so Mary Jane and Lisa were like sisters. But in the end, Lisa’s self-destructive behavior and betrayal caused a rift in her relationship with her sister, her friend.

Mary Jane was the one solid person in her life; but even she couldn’t save Lisa. In order for Lisa to become whole again, she needed to be healed from the brokenness and scars from her past.

We have to realize that the people in our lives have endured some harsh life challenges. These very experiences have helped mold them into who they are today. Instead of dealing with people on the surface, choose to get to know the real person.

Allow your relationships to become authentic. Provide a place of refuge where the individual can bear their truth, life experiences,and challenges. Instead of responding in judgment, fault finding, or criticism meet them with love, compassion and understanding.

When you operate from this vantage point, you will find that your relationships will become more meaningful and lasting.

For too long, we have dealt with each other’s representatives, barely hitting the surface and calling each other friend, and, for some, pledging a lifetime of love for one another. We make plans to spend our lives together yet we hardly know each other.

Isn’t it time to get to know the real person?

Isn’t it time to choose to love not only the person, but their wounds, battle scars and all. Getting to know another person’s truth doesn’t mean taking on their issues or being responsible for their actions. Knowing someone’s truth means providing a safe haven where they can just be themselves.

• Choose an open mind over political correctness.
• Choose the truth over a lie.
• Choose to love someone just as they are.
• Choose to be just as honest with your truth as you expect others to be with theirs.
• Choose to embrace a person’s past and help them create a brighter future.
• Choose to remove the mask and just be you.
• Choose real friends over fake, phony, dead-end relationships.
• Choose to love you.

This week, #BeingMaryJane hit on major topics that occur every second but no one wants to talk about. If you or someone you know needs help, here are two hotlines which can offer you guidance and direction.

National Suicide Hotline: 800.273.8255
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800.799.7233

You are not alone. No matter what challenges life has dealt, help is available.  Today, let’s choose to stop being phony and playing games and choose to first develop authentic friendships.

Friendship is key because you can’t be in a relationship without first being friends. Your relationship will never last.

BMWK family, are you willing to cultivate authentic relationships and embrace the truth of your friends?