Dr. Buckingham I have been following you on Black and Married with Kids for sometime now, and I appreciate the advice that you provide to singles and couples. I was hesitant to write you, but I broke down because I am very close to leaving the woman I swore to love forever. My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and I have been dealing with her out of control … [Read more...]
Two Steps to Getting on the Same Page Again
One of the more challenging things for my relationship clients is when things simply aren’t going well. They can’t exactly put their finger on the problem, but they know that there is a disconnect somewhere in the relationship. Arguments start that would never have happened before. Long silences happen because for some reason there is nothing to say. The natural tendency is … [Read more...]
3 Difficult Marriage Conversations You Can’t Ignore, and 6 Ways to Initiate Them
Let's face it. There's no way to avoid having a difficult marriage conversation at any given time throughout your marriage. And while things like finances, communication, and spirituality, are high on the list of hot topics to discuss regularly in your marriage, there are some topics that most don't even want to think about or confront. But a real marriage requires real … [Read more...]
4 Quick Steps to More Peace and Less Conflict in Your Relationship
by Esther Boykin, What’s the secret to a lasting love affair? Great communication of course! So often couples struggle with how to really talk with each other and one of the toughest parts of communication is dealing with conflict. Most of us hope to avoid these emotionally charged situations or even convince ourselves that “happy couples” don’t fight; but the truth is that … [Read more...]
The Most Damaging Words & Phrases Ever Said in a Marriage
Once we say "I do", certain actions immediately become unacceptable in most relationships. Each couple should be aware of exactly what that is; we know what works as well as what hurts our relationships. During a recent airing of the Doug Banks radio show, the adult conversation of the day was "is it ever okay to tell your spouse/mate/significant other to shut up?" ...we … [Read more...]
How to Fight when the Favor God Promised In Marriage is Tested
As I was spending time with God a few weeks ago, I was lead to write in my journal. When I began to write, I heard the Holy Spirit say that the next 3 months would be very pivotal months of our marriage because God is preparing us for greater level of exposure and increase. Yes, I got very excited at the thought of productivity and more opportunities, but not at all did I … [Read more...]
3 Arguments You Should No Longer Have with Your Spouse
When two people argue, it's usually for a variety of reasons. It's either about someone trying to prove a point and convince the other to view a situation from their point of view. Or it might happen as a result of someone's bruised feelings and a need for a quick resolution. Disagreements can be quite challenging and occasionally blur our vision on what's actually right or … [Read more...]
5 Things that Make It Impossible to Stay Mad at Your Spouse
I'm always amazed at how much I learn about marriage in just every day living. In this article about learning how to grow up in your marriage, I talk about the need to learn how to let go of, or do certain things. One of the things I had to start getting better with was the art of compromising. Even after eight years of marriage, I have to constantly ask myself if I'm being … [Read more...]
Are Your Children A Factor When You Disagree With Your Spouse?
Have you ever been so upset with your spouse you completely snapped without regard to who else was around? We’ve all been there. No one can get under our skin more than the ones we love most. It’s easy to get caught up in a heated moment. Unfortunately during a disagreement with tempers flaring, yelling and being hurtful sometimes come quite naturally. It never feels good … [Read more...]
12 of the Dumbest Fights Couples Can Have About Nothing
Slammed doors, raised voices and long disagreements that carry on for hours. Any of this sound familiar? Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of marriage. There’s simply no way to avoid an occasional disagreement when you co-exist with the same person every day. Conflict scenarios vary from really serious things, like not paying bills on time, to the pettiest of petty … [Read more...]