I haven’t had a relaxer in my hair for almost 15 years. Before that, I was just as addicted to the “creamy crack” as the next Black woman. As soon as I felt that new growth coming in, I calculated the days until my next treatment. Never mind that that stuff burned the mess out of my scalp and often left scabs that took days to heal. After all was said and done, I couldn’t … [Read more...]
5 Steps to Having Safety Zone Conversations with Your Mate
Unrealistic expectations, lack of commitment, insurmountable financial debt, and abuse are only a few issues that millions of couples encounter during the course of their relationship. These common yet devastating issues are all symptoms that mask the real cause of why relationships fail. Couples often wonder; what is the secret to maintaining a successful relationship. The … [Read more...]
5 Signs that Poor Communication is Killing Your Relationship
Somewhere deep inside of us we understand the value of good communication. After all, communication is what allows us to have some of the great things in life such as our relationships, careers and spiritual life. Yet, many marriages fail. When couples are asked why? They often site poor communication as the main culprit. According to national statistics poor communication is … [Read more...]
Should You Beg Your Partner to Stay?
The beautiful thing about marriage, at least in our culture, is that two people have mutually decided they love each other so much, they want to spend the rest of their lives together. They go into this commitment knowing that things won’t be perfect, and that times will get tough, but they feel confident that they have what it takes to stay the course and make their marriage … [Read more...]
5 Questions to Consider Before Giving Up on Your Marriage
The whole idea of marriage, is that it will last forever. Most people don’t enter their union thinking about when things will end. Instead, they go into it hoping and praying that things never end. A commitment that isn’t taken lightly by most, marriage is about enjoying the best of life, while preparing to manage and survive the very worst. It’s about staying together through … [Read more...]
Don’t Hide Money! Read the Other 3 Ways to Avoid Having Money Ruin Your Marriage
Money is one of the all-time reasons couples get divorced. Either someone is not making enough, spending too much or not paying bills. There are probably several reasons couples fight and/or divorce over money. I thought I would share some tips that will hopefully help someone come to an understanding about money. Decide on how many bank accounts you are going to have. You … [Read more...]
The Do’s and Dont’s Of Supporting a Friend Through Divorce
Divorce is such an ugly and disappointing word. It can also be one of the most challenging life changes one might experience. People don't often view it this way, but it is the death of something. As a result, there needs to be a grieving process. Those who haven't gone through this experience may feel as though we know what's best for our friend or loved one. The truth is, we … [Read more...]
I am Divorced But I am Not Invisible
by Desiree Miller You don’t know me. You think you do. I see the judgment in your eyes. I hear the rumors you spread behind my back. I know you make assumptions. But you don’t KNOW me. And honestly, I don’t think I want to know you anymore, either. Because a real friend would have offered comfort, instead of secretly criticizing. A true friend would have … [Read more...]
How to Heal from the Pain of Divorce and Learn to Love Again
2005 was the most painful year of my life. My daughter had just turned one when I found out that my husband—who I had been separated from for four months, with a faint hope of reconciliation—was about to have a baby by another woman. Words can't express how devastated I was at his admission of an affair during our marriage. I felt like I had fallen into a black hole and wasn't … [Read more...]
Is Any Marriage Really 100% Divorce-Proof ?
No matter how much we all want our marriages to succeed and thrive, or how many articles and books say otherwise, the truth is that none of us are able to 100% divorce-proof our marriages. Here is why: 1. You are not the only person in your marriage. I'm not just talking about the spouse. Our lives are an accumulation of the relationships we have by default (family), and the … [Read more...]
Divorce School Required for Oklahoma Couples With Children
Under a new bill signed into law last week in Oklahoma, couples who wish to divorce and have children will be required by law to go through an education program before their divorce is granted. The law will go into affect in on November 1, 2014. The sponsors of the bill, state Representative Jason Nelson (R) and Senator Rob Standridge (R), say the purpose is to educate … [Read more...]
4 Reasons to Stop Using Divorce as a Problem Solving Tool
For the love of God, would you please stop using divorce as a way to solve marital problems!? For the last few months, I’ve been giving relationship advice on my website. People have been submitting their questions privately, using an alias to protect their true identity, and I respond directly to their email address. Nothing gets posted online. And let me tell ya…yall … [Read more...]
Husbands: 2 Things to Consider Before You Give Up on Your Marriage
Lately, I've been receiving a lot of question from women who have recently separated from their husbands. He either cheated or he didn’t understand what marriage required and doesn’t want to be married anymore. As a Christian husband, I feel compassion for these women, because they were dooped (I mean) led into a marriage by men who now don’t want to fight for the very thing … [Read more...]
Single Fathers: Don’t Step Up to be a Parent, Never Step Down
The unfortunate reality is there are a lot of single men with children, especially in the African American community. It’s unfortunate because every child could benefit from being in the house with the two parents who cared enough to bring them into this world. Regardless, the society we live in has many single men who are a part of raising a child either in their home, in … [Read more...]
5 Things to Remember When your Friends Split Up
Maintaining unity in your marriage when there is division all around you can be hard. With many long standing relationships falling apart right before your eyes it can be really easy to get caught up in someone else's drama. Unfortunately, these divisions can affect us whether we want them to or not. When discussing the dissipating unions of friends we may find ourselves … [Read more...]