Growing up, my dad detested lies. That was the worst thing you could do in his house. He always told me and my brothers to tell him the truth no matter what. Of course we lied, on numerous occasions. Our misbehavior displeased my father; our lies hurt him. Now that I am a wife and a mother, I understand. When we lie to our loved ones, we dishonor them. We take for granted … [Read more...]
Black Men Who Pray
Great black fathers and husbands do exist. Some of them write for this website, while others you will never know. I grew up with a great father who adopted me and my brothers when we were just infants. He didn't let the fact that we were not "blood" keep him for loving, providing for, and praying for us. My husband plays a similar role in my immediate family today. In … [Read more...]
Divorce Does Not Mean Defeat
We all know the statistics. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC, 2009), close to 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. This means that if four of your siblings, cousins, or friends get married in 2012, only two of their marriages will last. Although we have the statistics, which are staggering and disheartening, we do not know the reason for each divorce. … [Read more...]
Get Them Out Of Your Bed
"I sleep on the sofa and my wife sleeps with the kids." ~Anonymous Husband As a mother, I understand the instinct to want to sleep with your children. But as a wife, I also understand the need to keep the marriage bed sacred and to be attentive to my husband. When my daughter was a newborn she slept in the bassinet beside our bed, but slowly and surely, we migrated her to … [Read more...]
I’m an Independent Woman Who Needs Her Man
Roll call. . . All the independent women please stand up. That would've been me 15 years ago. My daddy made me into an independent woman. He taught me to get my education, to carry my own money, and to leave the "knuckle-headed boys" alone because they only wanted one thing. I attended a women's college where being a strong, black, independent woman was drilled into me. The … [Read more...]
Becoming A Power Couple
When you think about power couples, people like President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama most likely come to mind. Other power couples include Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Jay-Z and Beyonce, Bill and Camille Cosby. Certainly, these couples have power and influence to do big things in our world, and all of them make it a point to help those less fortunate than themselves. … [Read more...]
I Would Hate To Be Married To Someone Who…
I would hate to be married to . . . Someone who thinks they know everything. Someone who is never pleased, no matter what I do. Someone who criticizes more than compliments. Someone who laughs at me and not with me. Someone who talks more than listens. Someone who is rude and disrespectful to me and others. Someone who thinks they're perfect. Someone who is … [Read more...]
Parents: Bless, Don’t Curse Your Kids
I couldn't believe what I was hearing in the school parking lot. A mother was picking up her children, who looked to be about 7 or 8 years old, but the children weren't moving fast enough for the mother. So she proceeded to raise her voice, instructing them to hurry up. What I heard next made my heart drop to my stomach: "Get in the car nig$%r." I grabbed my daughter and … [Read more...]
Sex Scandals Affect the Entire Family
You know the drill. A politician gets caught sleeping around or sending lewd pictures of himself over the internet, and then his camp kicks it into high gear with damage control. When this happens, it's time to bring out the secret weapon: the wife. I wonder how long will it take before Herman Cain's wife shows up? Herman Cain, a republican presidential hopeful, is in … [Read more...]
Can Your Child Tell You Anything?
Question: Can your child tell you anything? Let me be more specific: Can your child tell you anything without you losing control? Can they trust you to listen and to respond lovingly, even while showing disapproval? Be honest now. Do you fly off the handle and start jumping to conclusions, or do you control your emotions and respond like a sane person? What if your child … [Read more...]
5 Behaviors To Avoid While Waiting To Marry
There is a stage of life called "the meantime." This is when you are in transition from one particular season of life into another. For example, when you are making the leap from being a college student to being a professional, from being childless to being a parent, and from being single to being married. This is a time of waiting, of anticipation, and of excitement. It's … [Read more...]
You Can Break The Cycle Of Failed Relationships
He was ready; she wasn't. By the time she got ready, he had become comfortable with the way things were. Admittedly, she was scared of marriage. The examples she saw growing up left her cynical and frustrated about marriage. Her parents divorced. Her grandparents divorced. Her aunts and uncles divorced. Now the cousins she grew up with are divorcing. Her boyfriend's dad was a … [Read more...]
Remember The Days Of “Because I Said So”?
I am one of millions of people longing for quality, family television that shows African Americans in a positive light. We aren't expecting the characters to be perfect, but we do expect them to be real, not stereotypical caricatures. Good television entertains, teaches, and inspires. The new original sitcom on BET "Reed Between the Lines" has the potential to do all those … [Read more...]
Give Your Spouse The Silent Treatment, The Right Way
I was a repeat offender. Even before my husband and I got married, I struggled with giving him the silent treatment. You know what that is, right? When he would do something that hurt or upset me, I would go silent for days. Some people use the silent treatment deliberately to get revenge on the other person. I think my response was involuntary; it was a defense mechanism. … [Read more...]
The Blessing Of Marital Sex, Part 2
By Rev. Tacuma S. Johnson and Dr. Michelle T. Johnson Dr. Michelle Johnson writes: In Part One of "Let's Talk about More than Sin and Hell: Promoting the Blessing of Marital Sex," I said that God blesses marital sex, unlike premarital sex. Therefore, not only should we talk about the sin of premarital sex, but we should also talk about the blessing of marital sex. After the … [Read more...]