I was inspired to write this post while reading the book, The Warmth of Other Suns, by Isabel Wilkerson. What an amazing book! Just a few pages into this 1,000 plus page moving account of the "Great" migration of African Americans from the South to every part of this country, and something has hit me. There are so many lessons for black marriages from black history. In fact, my … [Read more...]
Marriage
18 Ways to Prevent Falling Out of Love
Falling in love is easy. It’s the staying in love part that is difficult. The emotions involved with falling in love can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. However, that giddy, heart-skipping-a-beat sort of love doesn’t last forever. Without taking steps to acquire a mature love, you can find yourself falling out of love just as easily as you fell in. 18 Ways to … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Win Every Disagreement in Your Marriage
When you have a disagreement in your marriage, you should have one goal and one goal only, to win! Yes, after the dust settles you should be able to feel like "this was a clear victory." I'm sure somebody has told you otherwise. Clearly, chalking up a "W" at the end of a disagreement with your spouse is not what your intent is supposed to be. After listening to our marriage … [Read more...]
He Won’t Take Me Out: 4 Ways to Solve the Date Night Dilemma
After weeks of feeling frustrated about my husband not taking me out on dates, I decided to do something about it. My problem was that I didn’t quite know how to approach it without nagging him, while also clearly communicating the depth of my feelings. I wanted him to know that date night is important to me. I took some time to think it through and found a way to handle it … [Read more...]
Warning: 5 Things That Can Cause Resentment in Your Marriage
Resentment is such an ugly emotion and it can just creep up on you. It starts off with an offense that maybe doesn’t seem big enough to address. Often times, the offense is repeated and you either don’t say a thing, or you say something but never really get to the root of the issue. Then, one day, you wake up and realize that you resent the person who committed the offense. … [Read more...]
20 Essential Elements for a Happy Marriage – Your Must-Have Checklist
I think lists are awesome. How would I get anything done without a list? I’ve tried and I can tell you that although things still get done, it’s a whole lot harder. I forget stuff. I don’t do things in a timely manner. And worst of all, I end up feeling a lot more stressed than I would have if I had just used a darn list. With that in mind, I hope this list of 20 elements for a … [Read more...]
Five Signs Your Spouse is Your Roommate
Have you been thinking the honeymoon is over? Maybe it has been for a while or maybe it just recently ended. Husbands and wives are finding themselves in a situation where they feel like the person they're married to now resembles a person they simply share living quarters with. Your romance has turned more into a real estate arrangement. There's usually one spouse who feels … [Read more...]
Why Making Your Wife Compete With Your Mother is a Bad Idea
How does your wife compete with the other woman when the other woman is your mother? She can’t nor should she have to. A mother has her place and a wife has her place. The two positions are distinctly different and should complement one another not compete. Fellas, you set the tone for this relationship between two very important women in your life. If you don't know by now, … [Read more...]
6 Practices of a Marriage That Runs Like a Well-Oiled Machine
When I hear the phrase "well-oiled machine" I think of something smooth and efficient with little to no defect. But I also know it earned its reputation as a result of a lot of hard work by everyone involved with bringing the product to market. Take a BMW for instance. No matter the series, a BMW is a much-coveted vehicle that has set the standard for many others. But it didn't … [Read more...]
Here’s How to Treat Your Husband Like a King
Most of us want our homes to be a place of refuge, a place of tranquil peace, rambunctious excitement, and romantic moments. We want a home, not just a house. We want a place where our mate is well taken care of and comfortable. If you're husband, you want to treat your wife like a queen. If you're a wife, you want to treat your husband like a king. How to Treat Your Husband … [Read more...]
6 Marriage Mistakes Almost Every Wife Makes at Least Once
I must admit I made several marriage mistakes as a new wife. It took me a minute to understand and appreciate this profound new role with my husband. So my relationship struggled just a bit. What I learned, as I began studying relationships and working with couples, is that I wasn’t the only wife who had this experience. In this article: Taking your husband for … [Read more...]
6 Signs You Just Don’t Like Your Spouse Anymore
I’m still processing the fact that Barack and Michelle Obama are no longer in the White House. I miss them. I am sure you do as well. And my disappointment isn’t just about missing President Obama’s leadership (although I do), but it is about what I experienced by watching their lives as a couple. It’s about seeing a beautiful display of Black love in the public eye. We needed … [Read more...]
5 Threats to Marital Bliss You Must Avoid This Christmas
They say it's the most wonderful time of the year. However, it is a sometimes not-so-quiet secret that Christmas and the collective holiday season can heap a ton of stress on an otherwise "good" relationship. Not to mention what it does to relationships that are already under pressure. In fact, instead of marital bliss, many couples experience marital threats. As much as … [Read more...]
10 Signs Your Single Behavior is Invading Your Married Life
Before I was married, I enjoyed the single life. I loved hanging out with my girls almost every weekend. Our single behavior included taking road trips, not having to check in with anyone about where I was going and not having to let anyone know when I would be returning. The single life definitely had its moments of enjoyment. In this article: Flirting with others … [Read more...]
3 Gifts to Exchange this Christmas to Transform Your Marriage
Your spouse may have created a wishlist for Christmas, or verbally shared what they wanted this season. Either way, you probably have a good idea of what you’ll be putting under the tree for your spouse and vice versa. While it’s easy to shop and spend money on things that make your spouse happy, there are gifts to exchange that money just can't buy. Material items only bring … [Read more...]