by Delano Squires A few people have asked me why a childless, single man writes for a blog called Black and Married with Kids. My response is that I write for this blog because there is a need for male voices to be heard in conversations related to love, intimacy, relationships, and family. Last week Aja Dorsey Jackson penned a thought-provoking post that addressed this very … [Read more...]
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Michigan Man Has 23 Kids With 14 Different Women: Including One Per Year From 89-99
A Michigan man that impregnated at least one woman every year between 1989 and 1999 has just been sentenced to 23-48 months for past due child support that amounts to 533,000 dollars. A court report found that Howard Veal (pictured above) has fathered 23 children by 14 different women. I'm not sure what amazes me more, the fact that he just won't strap up or the fact that more … [Read more...]
Confronting the Crisis of Father Absence
by Delano Squires September is one of the best months for sports fans. It represents the home stretch in professional baseball, as well as the beginning of a new season in professional football. One NFL pro who received some unwanted attention this summer is New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie. He was pilloried in the national media after he was seemingly unable to … [Read more...]
Is God Keeping You Single or Keeping You Together?
by Delano Squires Two articles last week discussed the role of religion in relationships and marriage, and I was intrigued by both because of their implications for people of faith and people in love. While not specifically referring to Christianity, given the religious demographics of the African American community, the general arc of both pieces, and my personal … [Read more...]
Who Sets the Tone for Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires Anyone who has ever taken salsa lessons should know that men are traditionally responsible for taking the lead on the dance floor. This is true regardless of whether the man happens to be a better or more experienced dancer than his female dance partner. This concept reminds me of a conversation I had recently at a friend's birthday barbecue in which I … [Read more...]
Men, Share Your Wisdom–Join the Husband ROLL CALL on BMWK!
by Harriet Hairston This past Saturday, For Healthy Marriages on Facebook started raining all kinds of simple wisdom for married men. For example, "Men, you do not need to bathe in your cologne...just a dab will do." This is a basic truth that will definitely draw a wife closer to the cavern in her husband's neck as opposed to repelling her and making her … [Read more...]
How BMWK Improved My Marriage
by Tara Pringle Jefferson On that day I walked down the aisle to make a lifelong commitment to my husband, I was a fresh-faced 21-year-old. I had graduated college two weeks earlier. I gave birth to our daughter six months prior to that. I knew in my bones that I wanted to marry him, but when I tell you I didn't quite know what "marriage" really meant, I honestly … [Read more...]
Are You Worth the Wait?
by Delano Squires I had the privilege of participating in a relationship forum last year at an all girls college in Washington, D.C. The discussion was lively, with over 50 students and a panel of five men who were asked to bring a male perspective to questions on love, sex, and relationships. One young lady asked the men on the panel what she should do to uncover a … [Read more...]
Lessons From My Father
by Delano Squires June was a good month for my father. Both of his children were home for Father's Day and he celebrated a birthday shortly thereafter. While our relationship has had its fair share of mountains and valleys, my father has taught me many life lessons that have had a lasting impact on me as I have matured. While applicable to many different types of … [Read more...]
Some Men Still Do Care About Love and Fatherhood
by Delano Squires I attended a three-day conference last week in Hampton, VA by the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative (AAHMI). People from around the country came together to present their work in many areas critical to the African American family: financial literacy, marriage education programs, strategies to support low-income fathers, etc. The last … [Read more...]
Slim Thug Doesn’t Speak For Me
by Delano Squires By now you might have heard about Slim Thug's controversial comments regarding black women and the reasons they supposedly have problems finding quality black men. To make a long story short, it included some of the tired, recycled arguments about the sources of black womens' relationship struggles: unrealistic standards, excessive materialism, etc. … [Read more...]
Ask Why, Not Who, When Considering Interracial Dating
by Delano Squires Recently CNN aired a compelling report on how young children perceive race. The participants, ages 4-5 and 9-10, were shown a picture of five identical cartoon characters with complexions ranging from very light to very dark. The children were then asked to point to the "smart child", "dumb child", "pretty child", and "ugly child" to measure their … [Read more...]
Are You Investing in Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires I've had a few friends get married in the last three years and I'm glad to know a few more will be exchanging vows in the near future. Wedding guests often agonize over finding a gift for newlyweds that seems just right. While I'm sure couples appreciate the toasters, blenders, and microwaves they receive, there is one thing I believe every couple should … [Read more...]
Why Men Should be Concerned About Fidelity Too
by Delano Squires I recently read a BMWK post on fidelity and asked a friend, Renee', whether she expected fidelity in marriage and relationships. She answered with an emphatic "yes" and we continued to discuss the topic at greater length. Our conversation made me think about the past year and the number of famous men brought low by extramarital affairs. Whether it's Tiger … [Read more...]