by Aja Dorsey Jackson Shortly after buying our first home last summer, my hours at my full time job were cut to part time and I was eventually laid off. The loss of income has affected every area of our lives and our marriage has not been exempt from the impact. The effects go far beyond the obvious financial cutbacks we've had to make like no more dining out or planning … [Read more...]
Is Anyone Advising the Men: Why Is All Relationship Advice Directed At Women?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Perhaps it's just me but it seems that the number of male experts on why women are unsuccessful in relationships is increasing rapidly. On any given day I can turn on the radio, walk through a book store or even cut on the television and see or hear something along the lines of "ladies this is why you can't get/keep a man" written or spoken by a man … [Read more...]
Would You Buy Divorce Insurance?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson A new product, Wedlock Divorce Insurance, allows couples to purchase insurance coverage that will help with financial costs in the event of a divorce. Spouses can purchase up to 250,000 dollars worth of coverage to pay for expenses such as attorney fees, court costs, alimony and other bills. Couples are required to make payments on the policy for four … [Read more...]
I’m Shutting Down the Baby Factory!
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Now that our youngest child's second birthday is fast approaching, I keep getting asked the same question: "So when are you going to have the next one?" The answer: Never. Never ever ever. At least if I have anything at all to do with it. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I feel so fortunate to have been blessed with two healthy, intelligent, … [Read more...]
How Far Would You Go To Protect Your Kids? Florida Man In Trouble For Defending Disabled Daughter On Schoolbus
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Last week a Florida man landed in hot water when he boarded a school bus to confront students who bullied his disabled daughter. According to stories about the event, a few students on the bus put open condoms on his daughter's head and hurt her by slapping her and twisting her ear. The father, James Jones, got on the bus and said "This is my daughter … [Read more...]
Fighting Words: How To Argue Effectively
by Aja Dorsey Jackson There is a good deal of advice about how to get along in a marriage, but far less advice on how to disagree. The reality is that you are never going to agree 100 percent on everything with your spouse so it is inevitable that at some point the two of you will clash. Given that the occasional argument can be expected, wouldn't it also make sense for us … [Read more...]
I Just Called To Say I Love You?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Last weekend I was sitting at my daughter's soccer practice and decided to send my husband a text message. It said hi- followed by a smiley face. He called me almost immediately. Him: "What's wrong? Did you break something in the house?" Me: "No! Why would you ask that?" Him: "Because you never send text messages to say hi. I thought you were … [Read more...]
Love Is…
by Aja Dorsey Jackson One of my favorite teachings about love is found in Corinthians 1:13. Most people have heard this scripture at least once and no matter what your religious beliefs, it speaks to so many things about love that are universal. I love this scripture because in my opinion it sums up most of what we need to know to love successfully by teaching what love's … [Read more...]
Kiss Your Spouse!
by Aja Dorsey Jackson A couple of weeks ago at church a visiting pastor asked the married members of the congregation to stand to their feet. Off topic, but given the number of stories about Black marriage being virtually nonexistant, it was encouraging to see the number of married couples representing all ages. The pastor then asked for each person to give his or her spouse … [Read more...]
If Only They Could Stay Little
by Aja Dorsey Jackson I feel like I closed my eyes for a second and all of a sudden my baby girl is a 10-year-old, headed for 5th grade, with only one year left before she crosses over into middle school. Not only does this realization make me feel old ( Me, with a middle schooler? I feel like I was just in Middle School!) but it makes me want to hold on tighter to the … [Read more...]
Marrying Later: Finding Ourselves or Finding Trouble?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson I recently read one of the most interesting magazine articles that I've seen in a while in the April issue of Fitness magazine entitled "How not to be the Starter Wife". It touched on a variety of issues affecting today's 20-somethings and the many cultural trends that are leading 20 percent of marriages to fail within the first five years. One point … [Read more...]
Should you Facebook Friend an Ex?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Yesterday Harriet wrote a great post about avoiding danger zones in marriage. Today I want to talk about the place that I see as one of the most potentially dangerous hot spots for couples right now. That place is Facebook. Picture this. I get a friend request from someone I used to date that I haven't thought about in years. I leave the request … [Read more...]
Romantic Doesn't Make It Real
by Aja Dorsey Jackson Negative images of love and marriage are visible almost everywhere you look. On the other hand, we hold true love up to these impossible ideals, leading us to believe that anything falling short of those isn't true love. I have recently begun to pay more attention to some of the common sayings and ideas about love and come to realize that a lot of them … [Read more...]
Unruly! How Do You Tame a Wild Child?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson I always swore I would never be that mother. You know, the one with the child throwing a tantrum at the supermarket checkout. When my daughter was small I would inwardly shake my head at parents like that and pat myself on the back for raising such a well behaved child. If you had asked me if I believed in spanking I probably would have shrugged. I … [Read more...]
Learning From My Examples
by Aja Dorsey Jackson My parents divorced when I was a child. Outside of my grandparents and aunt and uncle I rarely saw married couples when I was growing up. My mother was a single parent and so were most of her friends. Most of my close friends came from single parent households as well so for me seeing an intact family was rare. I attribute part of the success of the … [Read more...]