According to Urban Dictionary, the term "wifey material" describes a woman who possesses certain qualities that would make her a model wife. I'm sure many men would describe this type of woman as a perfect mix of style, substance, sass, and love or at least respect for sports. Aside from that, men appreciate her kindness, supportiveness, and caring nature. She's the type of … [Read more...]
Wedding Video: Stephanie and Delano’s Journey to Happily Ever After
Once upon a time, there was a prince named Delano Squires. He was the only single male writer for this site, BlackandMarriedwithKids.com. What made this prince so special was that he was truly a good person that had a passion and desire to see healthy relationships in the African American community and in his own personal life as well. And so, he studied, prayed, and prepared … [Read more...]
Do You See Your Relationship In The Movies You Watch?
by Delano Squires I got an email in April from a friend about an advanced screening of Jumping the Broom in Washington, D.C. that featured a Q&A session with mega-pastor, and co-producer, T.D. Jakes. I had class and wasn't able to attend so I took my mother and aunt to see the film over Mother's Day weekend instead. A few years ago I probably wouldn't have even paid … [Read more...]
Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?
by Delano Squires One of my favorite movies about dating and relationships is Spike Lee's film She's Gotta Have It. It was released in 1986 but still offers useful commentary on a number of issues, including sexuality, honesty, monogamy, and our perceptions of acceptable gender roles. The movie follows the love life of the protagonist, Nola Darling, as she manages the … [Read more...]
How Do You Measure Success in Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires I recently heard a sermon at church that examined how people measure success in their personal lives. The first part of the message focused on some of the things our culture associates with success: material possessions, social status, power, fame, etc. These common markers of achievement were in stark contrast to the main point of the message: true success … [Read more...]
How Do You Evaluate Relationship Advice?
by Delano Squires A few people have asked me a question in recent months that I believe is worth addressing here today. Although articulated in different ways each time, it's the same question that I've heard countless women ask about Steve Harvey, given his new role as relationship guru: "Why should anyone listen to anything you have to say about love, dating, … [Read more...]
Is Your Dating Persona a Politician or a Flasher?
by Delano Squires Needless to say, President Obama has had a rough fall. In November, the Democrats suffered what he described as a "shellacking" in the midterm elections and last week he received stinging criticism from members of his own party over his willingness to compromise on one of his most significant campaign platforms: eliminating President Bush's tax cuts for the … [Read more...]
The End of Men or a New Beginning?
by Delano Squires A few people have asked me why a childless, single man writes for a blog called Black and Married with Kids. My response is that I write for this blog because there is a need for male voices to be heard in conversations related to love, intimacy, relationships, and family. Last week Aja Dorsey Jackson penned a thought-provoking post that addressed this very … [Read more...]
Is God Keeping You Single or Keeping You Together?
by Delano Squires Two articles last week discussed the role of religion in relationships and marriage, and I was intrigued by both because of their implications for people of faith and people in love. While not specifically referring to Christianity, given the religious demographics of the African American community, the general arc of both pieces, and my personal … [Read more...]
Who Sets the Tone for Your Relationship?
by Delano Squires Anyone who has ever taken salsa lessons should know that men are traditionally responsible for taking the lead on the dance floor. This is true regardless of whether the man happens to be a better or more experienced dancer than his female dance partner. This concept reminds me of a conversation I had recently at a friend's birthday barbecue in which I … [Read more...]
Are You Worth the Wait?
by Delano Squires I had the privilege of participating in a relationship forum last year at an all girls college in Washington, D.C. The discussion was lively, with over 50 students and a panel of five men who were asked to bring a male perspective to questions on love, sex, and relationships. One young lady asked the men on the panel what she should do to uncover a … [Read more...]
Lessons From My Father
by Delano Squires June was a good month for my father. Both of his children were home for Father's Day and he celebrated a birthday shortly thereafter. While our relationship has had its fair share of mountains and valleys, my father has taught me many life lessons that have had a lasting impact on me as I have matured. While applicable to many different types of … [Read more...]
Some Men Still Do Care About Love and Fatherhood
by Delano Squires I attended a three-day conference last week in Hampton, VA by the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative (AAHMI). People from around the country came together to present their work in many areas critical to the African American family: financial literacy, marriage education programs, strategies to support low-income fathers, etc. The last … [Read more...]
Slim Thug Doesn’t Speak For Me
by Delano Squires By now you might have heard about Slim Thug's controversial comments regarding black women and the reasons they supposedly have problems finding quality black men. To make a long story short, it included some of the tired, recycled arguments about the sources of black womens' relationship struggles: unrealistic standards, excessive materialism, etc. … [Read more...]
Ask Why, Not Who, When Considering Interracial Dating
by Delano Squires Recently CNN aired a compelling report on how young children perceive race. The participants, ages 4-5 and 9-10, were shown a picture of five identical cartoon characters with complexions ranging from very light to very dark. The children were then asked to point to the "smart child", "dumb child", "pretty child", and "ugly child" to measure their … [Read more...]