"One day you're going to have to give him to me!" These are the words that my husband shouted as he stormed off after having an argument about disciplining our 12 year old son. You see for years I had "babied" our son as my husband worked long shifts at his job to provide for our family. I did everything a doting mother would do. I wiped his tears when he cried, I … [Read more...]
Are Disparities in School Discipline Harming our Black Students
Growing up black, I have always felt and noticed that blacks kids got into trouble for the smallest infractions. Yes, we cut up sometimes as all kids do. But it was as if we were being watched all of the time. And so other kids that did the same things were getting away with it. And to me, it just felt as if the punishments were harsher. When I was in school, our school was … [Read more...]
Is It Our Duty to Correct, Advise or Discipline Other People's Children?
I frequently read Facebook status updates pertaining to inappropriate conversations overheard or questionable behaviors observed regarding our youth. The comments that follow are usually centered on how shameful the actions were, the type of punishment the teen deserves and what a poor job the parent of that child must be doing. It's rare to find more solution-focused … [Read more...]
Money Monday: Could Your Child Pass The Marshmallow Test
In the late sixties Stanford psychology professor Walter Mischel conducted a study to look at our ability to delay gratification. In what has become known as the marshmallow test, four-year-olds were brought into a room, one at a time, and placed in front of a delicious marshmallow. The instructions were clear. The child could eat the marshmallow if she pleased, or she … [Read more...]
10 Ways To Ensure Your Children Keep Their Word
via allprodad.com When our culture advises parents to "groom" their children for success, it typically encourages us to send our kids to the best schools or push them to squeeze out every possible SAT point they can muster. But what is often overlooked is our children's integrity, the rudder that will steer their life's ship. And integrity starts with keeping … [Read more...]
Is Raising Kids Easier Than Training A Dog?
Shortly after my husband and I got married, I decided to get a dog. Initially, I wanted a nice size dog so I would feel safe and comfortable while my husband worked the graveyard shift. I ended up falling for a bite size puppy and we named him Frankie. Frankie was taken from his mother young, and was abandoned, so we knew he may be a little more difficult since he wasn't ready … [Read more...]
Should Our Children Fear Us?
When I was growing up my mother owned "the look." If this sounds at all familiar to anyone you might remember how frightening it could be. "The look" was that quick eye stare and tight lip face our parents gave that would easily stop us dead in our tracks. Whenever you experienced "the look," you recognized right away that whatever you were doing in those moments had to end … [Read more...]
Disciplining Your Child In Public Has Gone Viral: Is This A Good Or Bad Thing?
Back in my day (like I'm really that old), the most embarrassing thing our parents could do was whoop us and have our friends find out about it. Even so, word might of spread of our disciplining locally but it stayed local. In today's world if a child gets disciplined in Eustis, FL (the tiny town I grew up in), it can instantly be streamed to every computer, phone, and … [Read more...]
Divided (In Parenting) We Fall
by Arnebya Herndon I try to remind myself that one right way to parent does not exist. Though I'd like it to always be "our" way, there are definitely times when it's my way or it's his way, and my way usually does not like my husband's way. We've been married for nine years and have three children: two girls ages 11 and 8, and the boy who is two. Parenting this boy has … [Read more...]
Dealing With Defiant Teenagers
by Charlene Hawkins I have a 13-year-old son who thought no one understood him because he is the only male in the house. I became his number one enemy! He used to sneak out at night and wouldn't come home until the morning, his grades were the lowest in the school, and he has stolen from my significant other. Beating his behind and yelling was all I knew to do and that's … [Read more...]
New Supernanny, Deborah Tillman, Sets Families Straight
Lifetime recently debuted their own version of ABC's "Supernanny," and they've picked Deborah Tillman, owner of three successful Virginia-based child care centers, to fill the lead role. How does she differ from the British Supernanny, Jo Frost? Read on to hear what she has to say about spanking and positive discipline: Often society is so negative. Even when dealing with our … [Read more...]
Good Dad, Bad Dad
Growing up I feared, was in awe of and often detested my father. He was stern and mostly emotionless. If and when he did laugh it was at things that weren't funny. Now that I'm grown we are the best of friends. He is my confidant and my most staunch advocate. But back when I was under his roof and he was putting food on my plate, he often went upside my head first and asked … [Read more...]
Tame Your Toddler In Four Easy Steps
My son has been working my last nerve lately. Y'all know I love him, but it's like the little guy is staying up late with a copy of "Driving Your Mama Crazy In 3 Easy Steps" tucked under his pillow in his crib. And he's taking notes. (When the updated version comes out, he'll be writing the foreword.) But I realize he's almost 3 so this stage of development is … [Read more...]
Papa Bear Vs. Mama Bear
For me parenting has really been a learn-as-you-go process. It hasn't come easy, although I thought it would. The parenting/co-parenting relationship is something you can't totally prepare for or predict. You can plan with your spouse how you will raise your children, but until certain situations arise you can't always be so sure. The moment I became a mom a unique type of … [Read more...]
You Get What You Get and You Don’t Pitch a Fit
by Ronnie Tyler This past Saturday, we planned to spend the afternoon chilling at the neighborhood pool. After everyone put on their swimsuits and sun block, I went downstairs to pack us a lunch to take with us to the pool. So I asked the kids, "What type of sandwich do you want -ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?" That was a big mistake. They all took a few … [Read more...]