It is said that as many as 80% of all marriages could be classified as “sexless”. Sexless - most typically defined as having sex less than 10 times a year. Let that soak in for a second... This is a conversation I have had with so many friends and couples and usually the focus is on, “Why we are not having sex - enough”. But the truth is, why isn’t as important as how to … [Read more...]
6 Things That Make an Exceptional Spouse
Are you the best spouse that you can be? Talk about a loaded question. But then our own answer hits us with a resounding thud - Of course not. Surely there is something else we all can do a little better. Someway we can express our love a little more effectively. I thought about this as I was reading a recent Inc. Magazine blog post about what exceptional business leaders … [Read more...]
Elevate Your Marriage: 7 Practices of Highly Intimate Couples
Can a marriage survive without sex? Late last year, a friendly but intense argument around that question overtook what had been a pretty normal dinner discussion with six friends and turned it into a passionate, at times heated, all night debate. But as I and my friends, most of which were married, sat around the table batting our passionate feelings around, I zoned out and … [Read more...]
Four Steps to Measuring What Matters Most in Your Marriage
Photo Credit: Jason AnthonyWhat things do you value the most in your marriage relationship? I read this great article on the Harvard Business Review Blogs, entitled Four Steps to Measuring What Matters. The point of the article was that business executives often rely on the wrong things to measure their company’s performance. The suggestion is that trying to gain insight … [Read more...]
Four Steps to Measuring What Matters Most in Your Marriage
What things do you value the most in your marriage relationship? I read this great article on the Harvard Business Review Blogs, entitled Four Steps to Measuring What Matters. The point of the article was that business executives often rely on the wrong things to measure their company’s performance. The suggestion is that trying to gain insight from analyzing things like, … [Read more...]
32 Ways to be The Spiritual Leader of Your Family
For many men there can be a level of anxiety that always is present when it comes to leading our family. That anxiety typically revolves around either not having a father as a role model or not having a good role model to pattern themselves around. So how does a man lead what he has never seen before? Tough question, and I don't know that anyone can really stand as an expert … [Read more...]
The Battle Over Depression: Black Men and the Wives That Love Them
I had a chance, last week, to catch up with D.C. music producer/song writer, and owner of Fire Drop Music Group, Don Cox. Don is a humble, down to earth brother with a powerful story that he wants to share with men by exposing the often silent, inner battle that men have with depression. Depression is a form of mental illness that so many men, particularly African American men … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Have an Effective Family Meeting
I was speaking with a couple the other day and they were catching me up on how things were going with them. Somewhere along the conversation they mentioned that they had, had a family meeting. The husband thought it was a colossal waste of time and the wife thought it was a great time of hearing everyone’s perspective. I wondered if they were at the same … [Read more...]
Picture of the Strength of Your Marriage
We have all heard it said, that a picture is worth a thousand words. Below, you will see a few pictures that I took last fall, when I was in Ghana with LEAP for Ghana. What an awesome trip. Our team of six African-American author’s and activists, led by Poet Kwame Alexander and as guests of Juanita Britton, Queen Mother Nana Botwe Adobea II of Konko Village, shared hundreds of … [Read more...]
Is Home Schooling the Best Option for African American Children?
My wife recently sent me the article, Home schooling: Why more Black US families are trying it, and I checked it out. The article named school violence and school system's labeling of children, i.e. ADHD or learning disabled, as the two primary reasons that more African Americans are choosing to home school their children. As parents of a young child, living in a inner city, … [Read more...]
When You Want To Leave…Push Past!
Recently, I had a chance to check out the DC screening of the founders of this site's new film, Still Standing. I have seen each of their three previous films and of course each of them were top notch. But this new film is "next level" times three or four! When asked about how to survive hitting the "marriage wall," one of the couples replied, "Push past it..." It was a … [Read more...]
He Said What? A Parent's Perspective on Rapper Too Short's Advice To Young Boys
Disturbing. Disgusting. Inappropriate. Flat out wrong! Those are just some of the remarks flying around after 80's rapper Too Short appeared in a video on XXL.com, instructing what he called late middle school to high school aged boys on how to "finger," manipulate and physically coerce (a.k.a. rape) young girls sexually. Check out more on Too Short's comments The … [Read more...]
How Do You Teach Your Child And Their School About Diversity?
I was asked a pretty tough question this morning. "Help, we don't know how to deal with this. How should we teach (racial) diversity to the 3-5 year old kids?" Hmm...my wife and I have both sat on diversity boards, committees and initiatives on the corporate level. But how do you teach 3-year-olds what to say or how to accept each others differences? I am really glad to … [Read more...]
When A Man Leads From His Strength
When I played basketball, many, many decades ago, there were certain key strengths that I naturally had. Dribbling"”easy; lockdown defense"”no problem; shooting three pointers"”good all day, but shooting from the right side? Big problem! It was not until I got to a point that I recognized and understood where my strengths were, as well as my weaknesses, that I could work … [Read more...]
Becoming Friends, Again
It can happen to any relationship"”all of the emotional and physical energy that goes with sustaining a marriage, family, house and career can push all the "friendship" out of a relationship. You can wake up one day to the realization that we exist in the same house, but we are not friends like we used to be. Laughing has become a rarity because everything facing the … [Read more...]