Here's the first thought that comes to mind when I read this question: Why are so many good men still single? Good men are like fruit cakes during the holiday season. There's always a lot of talk about them, but no one really wants one. I was asked to respond to the question above, which was posed in a relationship group that I was invited to join on Facebook. What was … [Read more...]
Once a Cheater Always a Cheater…Not Necessarily!
A couple years ago when our story aired on OWN via the show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal several people would say, “You can’t love your husband, and he can’t love you if you both cheated!” Yep, that’s right, we both cheated (understand we're not proud rather transparent for educational and inspirational purposes). He cheated during our first year of marriage, and I during … [Read more...]
If Jay-Z Actually Cheated on Beyoncé, It’s Because He Didn’t Do This One Thing
I don’t know if Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé or not. We may never know the truth. But if he did…if he can’t be satisfied with one of the baddest chicks on the face of this Earth…then there’s something inherently wrong with all humanity. Right? Truth be told, I think there’s something inherently wrong with all of us. We all are inherently flawed in one way or another. I’ve … [Read more...]
Do I Tell His Wife about Our 3-Year Affair?
As a speaker and life coach, I encounter all sorts of dilemmas. But I was recently written by a young woman, who was weighing a decision to reveal a troubling secret—a secret that would undoubtedly open the emotional flood gates for all parties involved. I understand other women may be considering the very same dilemma, so I wanted to share. I’ve paraphrased a bit of her … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Save a Desperate Marriage
Dear Dr. Buckingham, Hello. I have been married for 14 years. We have two children ages 16 and 10. I've had an emotional relationship with another man for 5 years. My husband is a gamer and our values are different. He spends a lot of his time gaming and he doesn't value a tidy home like I do among many other differences. Because of those issues we have been fighting for … [Read more...]
5 Steps Toward a Healthy Relationship After Your Spouse Has Stepped Out on You
We recently discussed the 6 Brazen Signs that Your Spouse Might be Stepping Out on You. And, sadly, the article hit home with you. Maybe you discovered your spouse cheated or is cheating. So, now what. Well, if your choice is to try to save your marriage, healing after losing trust in your spouse is a process, not a one-time “I’m so sorry, I will never do it again” … [Read more...]
The Biggest Lie Men Tell Themselves to Justify Cheating
By: Debrena Jackson Gandy There’s that nauseous sensation in the pit of your stomach, then the realization finally hitting you like a blow to the gut – “I think my spouse is having an affair.” I know the feeling well because in our marriage, we experienced mutual serial infidelity. This means that both my husband and I have been on both sides of infidelity, as both the … [Read more...]
6 Brazen Signs Your Spouse Might Be Stepping Out on You
Life has taught me that cheating doesn't have to be an automatic end to your marriage. You and your spouse relate on a number of different levels. Even though trust has been broken, you still love each other and share various aspects of life. That love, along with multiple threads that still connect you, may have been stretched almost to the breaking point. But, they can … [Read more...]
Being Mary Jane’s Ugly Truth Episode Challenges Us to Stop Lying About Relationships
When we meet, date and even marry, we really don’t know everything about the person next to us. We are often oblivious to the challenges they’ve faced, the hardships they’ve overcome and the difficulties they endure on a daily basis. If we were honest, we frequently ignore the outward signs of their inward pain and shame and move on with our day. Last night’s episode of … [Read more...]
Does Separation Mean It’s Ok to “Get Your Groove Back” with Someone Else?
Separation in marriage can be tricky. First you must think about why you separated and how long it will last. In a previous article, Does Separation Lead to Divorce?, I shared some of the consequences of a marriage separation. Dating others is one area I think should be avoided because it can lead you places you had no intention of going. Remember, even though you are … [Read more...]
Stop “Waiting To Exhale”! Unpack The Emotional Baggage And Build Lasting Love
Are you free to love? We all say we want successful relationships. However, some people carry so much emotional baggage that it hinders them from freely loving the people in their lives. Emotional baggage is a term used to describe unresolved emotional issues, which can be detrimental to the individual. Relationships can be challenging enough without the added pressure of … [Read more...]
3 Powerhouse Secrets to Surviving Infidelity
By: Da-Nay Macklin We live in a world of way too may secrets. You know what I mean…learn the 3 secrets to blah blah blah, discover the 5 secrets to blah blah blah, perform these 3 secrets to blah blah blah. However, your partner keeping their infidelity a secret is no small matter. Surviving that kind of betrayal is a tall order requiring us to dig way down deep. So, are … [Read more...]
3 Startling Reasons He Cheats and Why He Refuses To Stop
First, let me give a very important disclaimer. I do not support cheating by any man for any reason. It is the highest order of treason as well as an act of cowardice and selfishness. It is also a clear indication that a male is misguided in his understanding of the role that manhood requires of him when he chooses to pursue a relationship with another woman. The following … [Read more...]
It’s Time to Come Clean! Ashley Madison Hackers Could Out 37 Million Cheaters
Hackers are at it again. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. This time their cyber attack targeted the notorious 37 million member affair website, Ashley Madison. The site has now been secured but not before the hackers, who are calling themselves Impact Team, threatened to out such customer information as profiles, sexual fantasies, names, records, and … [Read more...]
3 Relationship Commandments That Should Not be Violated
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I had an affair with a close friend a couple of years back, but told my boyfriend that we were just friends with no strings attached. After he continued to question me about my relationship with my friend, I opened up and told him about the affair with my friend. I did not go into detail. He was angry, but kept his cool. Two weeks ago, my boyfriend ran … [Read more...]