By: Dr. Shane Perrault, PhD You just found out your girl — or worse your wife — cheated. Ouch! That cheating #@&%^ #%$@! you say, but, much to your surprise, you still love her. What now? Leave, stay, forgive, forget? Your heart was just ripped out, your sense of trust is long gone, and you are outraged. So, why do you find yourself unable to leave? You always thought, … [Read more...]
How Do I Forgive My Cheating Husband after 8 Years
Therapists like myself help people develop new coping skills, adapt to change, and grow from adversity. I make this statement to help you understand that there is no such thing as “fixing” people. However, based on the fact that you are still holding on to the pain of betrayal and being dishonest with your husband, you should seek professional counseling. The only … [Read more...]
Can Two Broken People Make Marriage Work?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband and myself have been together 15 years, married 10, with two beautiful children. I have had several emotional affairs, two were sexual.He has caught me every time. In the last two affairs though, I felt done with the marriage. I was the working parent struggling mentally and physically. He did nothing but took care of the kids, no housework, … [Read more...]
How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage By Guarding Your heart
In my most recent article 3 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage and Win After an Affair, I shared how my husband and I had reached an impasse in our relationship. With each of us having forsaken our vows and engaged in extramarital affairs, things weren't looking good for us and we had decided to separate. But God placed it on my heart to attempt to reconcile with … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage (and Win) After an Affair
Affairs are messy. I'm not trying to be glib but for lack of a better word, messy just fits. Everything becomes a mess when a man, or woman, "puts asunder" what God has joined together in holy matrimony. When asked to write this article, I was first reminded of the fight of my life. My marriage had become a mess and was breathing its last. Sadly, I saw no way to resuscitate it. … [Read more...]
3 Ways Jay-Z’s Infidelity Confession Can Help You Save Your Marriage
So Jay-Z decided to add somewhat of a video postlude to his latest album "4:44" called "Footnotes for "'4:44'" and the latest clip has set the internet, and maybe some marriages, on fire. In it, the rapper gets real about his less than perfect relationship with Beyonce and the fight to piece their broken marriage back together. Claiming that his marriage was not built on … [Read more...]
Why Real #RelationshipGoals Aren’t The Ones You See On Facebook
“This aint the movies and this aint Hollywood!” I had to say “PREACH!” when I came across this video from Comedian KevOnStage where he talked about how he hates the whole 'relationship goals' movement that we see on social media. I often say that it’s the promise of perfection that leads us to the death of divorce. I believe that one of the reasons many relationships fail … [Read more...]
5 Universal Relationship Deal Breakers…Get Out Now!
When we enter relationships, we all have our own personal deal breakers. And it makes sense, really, because we all have different needs and expectations. Some of us want children...while others don’t; Some insist on living in the city...while others refuse. I know having children was a deal breaker for me. I would not have been able to marry a man who didn’t want kids. Even … [Read more...]
Should I Get Involved In My Friend’s Messy Marriage?
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I'm writing on behalf of my friend. She has been married for 8 years and her husband impregnated another woman 2 years ago. She decided to accept the situation and forgave her husband. She recently left to go on vacation only to return to find her husband and the mother of his child in their home. He claimed that they only talk because of this child. … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Forgiveness in Your Marriage is a MUST
You’ve been in your relationship for years, and although you’ve made mistakes, you believe they are pretty minor compared to the devastating mistakes you’ve accepted from your spouse. Maybe she cheated on you. Maybe he squandered away a huge chunk of your savings. Or maybe, it’s a long list of smaller issues that have you realizing this relationship is not what you … [Read more...]
Am I Wrong? My Husband Fathered a Son Outside of Our Marriage and I’m Struggling with the Visitation Setup
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband committed adultery more than once and produced a son who was born two months before our 4-year-old daughter. We also have a 10-year-old daughter. I am extremely hurt and dealing with pain, but at the same time, I acknowledge that my husband has a responsibility to be a father to his son. But he is emphasizing his responsibility to the child. … [Read more...]
Women Say There Is Only One Reason Why Men Cheat. As a Man, I Completely Disagree
Probably like many of you, I consume a lot of social media content. I watch a lot of videos and listen to a lot of podcasts. Recently, a video caught my attention that promised to tell the one and only reason why men cheat as told by a woman. Did it matter that a woman was uncovering this reason? I will admit, it did make it interesting to hear how women form ideas about … [Read more...]
I Want to Stay with My Wife, but I Can’t Shake My Mistress. Please Help
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I have been with my wife for 13 years, and we have been married almost two years as of June. However, I have been cheating on her with someone else. I lie and say I have to work, but I am spending time with the other woman. I spend time with her when I get off work and when my wife works weekends. Now, my wife knows about her because my wife looked … [Read more...]
3 Major Issues Your Spouse Could Be Hiding from You; Discover Them Before It’s Too Late
A strong marriage is built on a foundation of trust. When you don’t trust your spouse, everything else in your marriage suffers. And once trust is lost, it is hard to rebuild—not impossible, but definitely hard. And when people think of the loss of trust in a marriage, thoughts typically turn to issues around infidelity. And while infidelity is a real issue many couples … [Read more...]
BOOO! Is Your Relationship Haunted by a Relationship Ghost?
Many couples can’t create the happily ever after they want because of the many ghosts that dwell in, fly around and haunt their relationship. Are you unable to fully receive and experience love with your mate because of the ghosts of insecurities, past hurts and past relationships still threaten to surface? Are your personal baggage ghosts weighing your relationship down? Are … [Read more...]