One day I was speaking with a woman about the dating game and she had plenty to say about being disappointed by men, black men, as she is African American and they are her preference for dating. When I asked her why she cited a specific example and gave me way more detail than I asked for or expected. The following is what she explained to me: On Monday He [her current man] … [Read more...]
What Makes My Man Sexy
Who would have thought a black man leaving home for work in the morning would be a turn on? Lately, I've been checking my man out on the way out the door. He's dressed nicely, smells good, and determined not to be late. It's the same routine Monday "“ Friday, yet I'm not feeling the same way I felt about it before we married. While dating, my boyfriend (now husband) and I … [Read more...]
Make Love, Not War
The advice in the title of this piece is almost always easier said than done. The consequences of the first are so much sweeter than the second, no matter how much territory, money or reputation stands to be earned in the process. There comes that occasional point in time during marriage when neither husband nor wife sees eye to eye on much. Tensions are running high at work … [Read more...]
10 Real-World Tips To Spice Up Your Marriage
The battle of the sexes rages on even in and maybe because of marriage. There are two truths constantly in play and not always playing nicely together. Maybe that's because we refer to it as a battle? Too many times spouses get caught up in pointless and perpetual battles for superiority and "rightness" inside the home and out. The idea of working together is an often … [Read more...]
All Men AREN’T Dogs, Boars, Hawks or Any Other Animal
I recently read an article written by a man about men, black men in particular. Although married, he outlined reasons why men prey on women weaker than them and he also warned women that should they enter the game (dating, love and relationships) thinking they have the upper hand they'll lose. It was a warning to all who read it. In the comments, several women applauded the … [Read more...]
What A Man Wants – From His Point Of View
One of my facebook buddies was having a moment. She'd read an article entitled "11 Signs He's Not Headed Toward a Relationship With You" and stated at the end of her post description that she wanted a relationship. After reading the article, it did feel very discouraging. So I decided to do some research for my friend and get a man's perspective of what he wants and … [Read more...]
Why Men Don’t Fear
by Eric Payne A few months ago I was sitting in church, not totally paying attention, when I softly spoke the following assertion out loud to no one in particular: "I'm no longer afraid." Now the interesting thing about this quiet self-confession was that I didn't know I was afraid of anything other than werewolves, Dracula, devil movies, hyenas, anyone with a gun pointed … [Read more...]
Chivalry Ain’t Dead
by Eric Payne from the series AP Manhood Anyone who reads me here and on my blog MakesMeWannaHoller.com knows I fight for the rights of the fellas, especially when discussing the "for better or worse" nuances of marriage. Why? Because I bring my A-game to the relationship table and expect to be met halfway. I did so as a single man and I do so now as a husband and a … [Read more...]
What A Woman Wants Doesn’t Matter
by Eric Payne Near the end of 2010 I launched the guest blogger series, What A Single Woman Wants, as an opportunity to share with us, the married set, what people on the front lines of romance are seeking. I also wanted it to be a reminder to men who might be in a stagnant place in their relationships of what led the women in their lives to them in the first place. The … [Read more...]
Single On Sunday Morning: Why Are So Many Husbands Absent From Church?
by Aja Dorsey Jackson By now you've no doubt heard stories, posts and complaints about the many men that don't attend church with their wives on Sunday mornings. My husband is one of those men. While we were dating and engaged he attended church with me relatively often, maybe a couple of times a month. Those visits decreased sharply after we got married to the point … [Read more...]
What I Learned From Single Men
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter This week not only brought me insight but it also provided me a glimpse into the mind of "today's" single black man. I recently launched an internet radio show, which I have to admit, has brought more joy than I imagined. The latest show was geared toward singles and my scheduled guests were single guys. Frequently I am asked to write (or … [Read more...]
3 Things A Woman Never Wants To Hear When She Finds Out She's Pregnant
by Eric Payne For many of us in the married lane, children, whether discussed at length or barely mentioned, are a foregone conclusion. After all we all got here somehow, right? Well for most men, the difference between the thought/strategy of having a child and finding out you actually are going to have one may as well be the distance between Earth and the Sun. God bless … [Read more...]
Why Can’t We Get Along?
by Eric Payne The subject of marriage, relationships or some combination of both has come up quite frequently in recent weeks and months. Both in the national media and in the blogosphere. There is the ever circulating story of the shortage of available "good" black men; there is the No Wedding No Womb movement; there was the recent USA Today Poll stating that nearly 40% of … [Read more...]
Do When I Say Vs. Do What I Say
by Eric Payne Most men in the married lane understand the following statement when it is spoken by their wives: "If you loved me, you'd do what I asked..." What leaves many men bewildered, dazed and often angered is the same statement with the unspoken directive (in parentheses below) attached to it: "If you loved me you'd do what I asked (when I asked)." Through my very … [Read more...]
Understanding The Tough Guy
By Eric Payne Last week I wrote about Making Enemies Out of Friends With Your Words. The intent of this article was to warn and/or remind people to be careful of how they speak while venting in anger/emotional distress and who they speak to. I asserted that in speaking negatively of the one you love you may inadvertently turn a friend into an enemy of your relationship. To … [Read more...]