Some of the most interesting concepts, comments, and thoughts come from conversations about marriage. As a relationship professional, I often find myself giving single women dating advice to help prepare them for marriage. I have learned, through those discussions, that what we say about marriage and how we express our needs may have an impact on the type of person that may be … [Read more...]
Ladies: 7 Myths About Men that Might Be Ruining Your Relationships
It’s a New Year! And with a new year comes goals to be even better in life and in love than ever before. However, here's one big, bold relationship truth: If you bring the same old mindset and misconceptions about relationships into this “new” season, then you won’t have different results. So ladies, here are few myths about men (married and single) that you must stop … [Read more...]
Single Ladies: 3 Very Important Lessons You Should Learn Before Becoming a Wife
You don’t know what you really want until you experience it firsthand. But when you want to be married, how in the world do you prepare for it without compromising your standards? I recently learned a few valuable lessons (in a crash course) about what it’s like to be a wife—sometimes. No - marriage is not all about date nights, someone to cuddle with every night, or rubbing … [Read more...]
Single and Dateless? No, You’re Not Hopeless; You’re Reserved by God
If there's one prayer I've been certain of speaking often these days, it's the prayer for the Lord to help me stay hidden. I don't want to stay hidden as if I'm afraid to be seen by men but in terms of keeping me from the wrong men. I pray He reserves me for the man that He has in mind for me. God proves to us time and again that He loves us, protects us and preserves us. … [Read more...]
I Admit I’m a S.W.A. (Sister with an Attitude); But How Else Can I Protect Myself from Getting Hurt?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am 25-year-old black single female with no children. I am writing you because I am having a hard time bonding with men. I don’t know where to begin. I just do not trust men. My father left when I was 12 after he abused my mother for years, and my two brothers are dogs. I want to be in a relationship, but I am afraid of being hurt. I have tried a … [Read more...]
Singles: 4 Reasons to Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone to Achieve Better Relationships
As scary as it might be for some of you, there are going to be moments in your single season when you’re going to have to get uncomfortable. Last year, I put a quote on my vision board about living outside of your comfort zone. It held me accountable to something that I knew deep down in my heart that I wanted and needed in order to become what God had created me to be, and … [Read more...]
Should I Commit to a Man Who Has a History of Vanishing?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, Hello. I have been reading your blogs and stumbled upon one about women marrying men in prison. I'm currently in a similar situation and would like your advice and view. I'm twenty-seven with one four year old child. About three years ago, I met and fell and love with a man online. We spent time together a few times and then he VANISHED! I moved on with my … [Read more...]
3 Relationship Commandments That Should Not be Violated
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I had an affair with a close friend a couple of years back, but told my boyfriend that we were just friends with no strings attached. After he continued to question me about my relationship with my friend, I opened up and told him about the affair with my friend. I did not go into detail. He was angry, but kept his cool. Two weeks ago, my boyfriend ran … [Read more...]
Single Ladies: 4 Specific Expressions We Tell Ourselves When He Stops Calling and How You Really Should Respond
No one wants to find out that someone they are interested in is no longer into them. Breakups, falling out, etc. can hurt the heart. Unfortunately the emotional wounds can occur from the "getting to know you" stage all the way up to committed relationships. When a man stops calling you, you have several ways to respond. Some I’ve been through and perhaps you can relate: “I … [Read more...]
How Does a Christian Woman Express Interest in a Man Without Appearing to be the Pursuer?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I enjoyed your article about being saved, single and waiting. My question for you is how does a Christian woman express interest in a man without appearing to be the pursuer? My church mentor made me feel uncomfortable when I shared that I met a man under the strictest of platonic circumstances and that I felt good vibes from him and had an interest in … [Read more...]
What Should a Saved and Single Woman do While Waiting on Love?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am saved and single. I've been back in church about a year and I feel ready for a relationship. Several guys from my church have approached me but they are thirsty and have approached every other woman in the church as well. I'm ready, but no prospect or quality godly man is showing any interest. I've prayed and waited, for what seems like a long … [Read more...]
What 5 Steps Can a Single Woman Take to Develop Healthy Relationships?
Good afternoon Dr. Buckingham, I have a relationship question to ask you. I am a 34 yr. old single, African American female. I have a master's degree in public administration and work in the public sector. I have done fairly well career-wise, but regarding relationships, I have struggled quite a bit. Due to financial issues, and trying to save to purchase a home, I have been … [Read more...]
10 Questions to Get to Know the Man You’re Dating Better
A few years ago, I did a survey on dating. And one of the results revealed that men are more influenced by society and friends when it comes to dating and relationships. This reminds me of the film "The Wood" from the late 90s. It begs the question....what society are they subscribing to and who are their friends? If you really want to get to know someone, ask good questions … [Read more...]
Why Men Are Afraid to Ask You Out: 4 Things You Can Do About It
A single black woman that I’m friends with on Facebook posted an encounter she had with two separate men. It lit up a firestorm of men vs. women in the comments. Two men from her past, in two separate conversations, both claimed that they were interested in her and wanted to ask her out, “but she never gave them a chance." She frustratingly replied to both of them, “You never … [Read more...]
5 Mistakes Women Make With Dating
From so many women I hear phrases such as, "Why can't I find a good man", "All men are dogs", "Why does dating have to be so difficult?". I'm going to leave the first two quotes alone for now but let's answer the last one. Dating is a mess because sometimes YOU make it that way. I'm not saying that the other party involved doesn't play their part in all of this. It's just that … [Read more...]