By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter When I hear feedback from couples who have concerns about the amount of effort and energy their spouses are putting into the marriage, I always share what I learned from one of my favorite relationship books. The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, forever changed how I viewed my marriage. It is normal to have feelings of frustrations when … [Read more...]
Do You Still Do What You Did?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter New relationships are always exciting. I enjoy being around the newly in love and hearing them talk about the joys that come from being with that special person. Often they will share, with others, the special things they do for and with one another. Recently, I remember hearing a woman share the details of how she takes care of her new man. She … [Read more...]
Singles Want the Married to Know…
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Usually, we (married folks) are full of tips and ideas we readily share with our single friends and family on how to find and keep love. Some of us typically feel there isn't much a single person could offer in terms of how to maintain a marriage. But just because they have yet to say "I Do" doesn't mean they don't know what it takes. Last week I … [Read more...]
Are Parents Always Responsible For Their Children's Actions?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter The recent tragedy in Tucson, AZ (the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords) has had everyone on alert and discussing what could have gone wrong. Usually in these tragedies we look for the person directly responsible and try to find the root of the problem. Things like the accuser's upbringing and background all come up for … [Read more...]
Does “Before The Marriage” Count?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Normally I don't repeat nor discuss the celebrity gossip I hear from unofficial sources, but this I have to mention just for the sake of this post. In certain environments (beauty and barber shops for example) there are often things said that aren't based on any actual facts, but just sound good for the conversation at the moment. The latest … [Read more...]
What I Learned From Single Men
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter This week not only brought me insight but it also provided me a glimpse into the mind of "today's" single black man. I recently launched an internet radio show, which I have to admit, has brought more joy than I imagined. The latest show was geared toward singles and my scheduled guests were single guys. Frequently I am asked to write (or … [Read more...]
Do You Tell Your Spouse How To Parent?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter It is interesting to me how parents, who are raising their children under the same roof together, can have different parenting styles. I observe my husband in his daddy role and while it is different from mine, we both seem to get the same result from our children. I listen to the way our oldest communicates with him and I have to admit it … [Read more...]
Family Goals For The New Year
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter 2010 was a great year. GOD really blessed this year. As it comes to a close and we plan for the new one I am sure we think about the changes we want to make and the good "new things" we want to add to our lives. Usually New Years' resolutions are specific toward individual desires (like losing weight or to quit smoking). But how about creating … [Read more...]
In Case Of Emergency: Preparing Your Relationship For Challenging Times
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter It might seem a bit unorthodox to have an emergency plan in place for a relationship. It may even seem like inviting trouble into your relationship. You are probably thinking that if you do have a plan, there will be too many emotions involved at the moment to consider it. But just like any other emergency, there are emotions and we must still act … [Read more...]
How Did Marriage Change You?
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Last week my husband and I were having a discussion about how our lives had changed since being married and having children. It's obvious how the children can change us. From the physical change of the body, to energy, time management on down to the level of patience and grossness we have experienced (i.e. poop, vomit, spit up). But how has … [Read more...]
Are You A Jealous Spouse?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter One of my most recent articles regarding flirting on BMWK brought this topic to mind. How does jealousy play out in marriages? That green-eyed monster normally appears in one of two ways in a relationship: jealousy over your spouse and the other is to be jealous of your spouse. Neither is healthy when shown too frequently. Of course there are a … [Read more...]
Troubled Couple or Successful Couple?
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Who would you trust? In this journey we all have a calling on our life. In most of our churches we are required to use that calling to be a blessing to others. Since I have been attending my church for the past 5 years, I always felt confident in my desire to serve in the couple's ministry. However, my Pastor had different ideas of where I could be … [Read more...]
“Harmless Flirting†Yeah Right!
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter There's "no flirting" in marriage, unless of course, you are flirting with your spouse. A recent heated conversation revealed to me that there are people who really believe that no harm can come from flirting with someone other than their spouse or significant other. But on the contrary, harmless flirting can lead to a road of destruction for … [Read more...]
Don’t Get Stuck In The Past
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter If you are just a little bit old school you may remember singing along or slow dancing to the lyrics of this popular One Way song "Something in the Past". If you know the words, sing it with me, "We we're together Living as one Until something happened One day our love was gone Always seems to be Something in the past Won't let us … [Read more...]
Can a Marriage Survive a Separation?
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter Recently hearing word that a couple I just adore was considering a separation was devastating to me. I immediately started to wonder where to place the blame. Who did not do what they were supposed to do? Who hurt who and who asked for this break first? I wanted to know where to channel my disappointment. If the marriages around me struggle, I take … [Read more...]